That poor little stink bug.
I almost killed him.
As I was scribbling notes as fast as I could, I thought I saw something move by my knee. I looked, saw nothing, and continued note-taking.
A few moments after that, when I had a chance to just listen to the professor talk, I looked at the top of my paper (at this point on the page, I was writing all the way at the bottom). On the top was some little light brown thing. I realized it was some kind of bug, so I immediately flicked it off with my pencil.
When it landed belly up on the floor by my feet, I realized it was a stink bug. Now I know most everyone hates them and finds them to be no more than nuisances, but personally I have never had issue with them.
After a few minutes passed, I noticed that the little guy was still on his back, struggling to right himself. I felt so bad. So bad that I honestly don't think you can understand. Seriously.
And this is all over a bug! A bug! A stink bug!
I knew it wasn't real, but I imagined that he was screaming while he writhed in helplessness. I wanted to help, but I also didn't want everyone to watch the girl in the front row play around on the floor.
So I decided to wait until class was over. Once most of the class left I would right the stink bug and go on my way. But after my professor stopped lecturing, she said, "Don't forget to turn in your homework!"
Crap! That means everyone is going to walk right in front of me...right where the helpless stinkbug was struggling. Terrified, I tried to put my things away quickly so that I could flick the bug out of harm's way. But I wasn't fast enough! Boots and sneakers and flip-flops came barreling toward him.
I literally cringed when I thought people were going to step on him. He almost bit the dust several times. It was a harrowing minute.
After the last straggler walked away from the bug, I crouched down and righted him with my homework. As I did this, I scooted him to a location not on the main drag, hoping that he would have some sense and get off of the floor of a lecture hall.
I'll never know what became of that stink bug. I do know, however, that something tiny and seemingly insignificant taught me a lesson.
Because of my pride, I let a little creature struggle for 15 minutes. Maybe he never actually felt discomfort or pain, but I imagined that he did. That was enough to make me sink lower into my seat. I was ashamed at myself for having put him in such a position. I also didn't want to cause a disturbance by getting out of my seat in the middle of lecture...to help a bug.
But I'm sure it was more pride than not disturbing others that prevented me from doing the right thing as soon as I realized that I could have done something.
A nice slice of humble pie, I'd say.
I'm sorry little stink bug.
And thank you Jesus for not waiting 15 minutes to save my life.