Saturday, January 15, 2011

Seeking Peace

"In everything pray for guidance, let your concerns be known to God. Expect Him to be your voice, your hands, and your feet. With this faith in action, everything you do or say will have the gentleness of God."

When the doctor told me that he wanted to get some blood work done, my heart rate sky-rocketed. "You mean, like, now? Today?" His answer was a half-comical, half-serious yes when he saw my panic-stricken face. I hate needles. I can't stand the thought of them. The last time I got a shot, I almost passed out. The last time I had to give a vial or two of blood to the doctor, I literally got sick while we drove out of the parking lot.

It took forever for the nurse to come in. I wasn't mad that my afternoon was being spent waiting in the doctor's office. I was just terrified. Each minute sitting alone only prolonged the terror.

I told the nurse right away that I have a history of not doing well with needles. She warmly smiled and said, "Well, I suggest you find your happy place, and I suggest you find it quickly."

So what did I do? I started praying the Hail Mary. I never realized that one of my happy places is between the Blessed Mother's arms. It's a good place to be.

I completely forgot about what was happening in the crook of my right elbow. I didn't know when the nurse had finished! I only realized that my "ordeal" was over when I saw that my useless prattling on about the weather and road conditions was visibly boring the kind nurse.

Life has thrown me for a loop. It all started with a doctor's visit. It took the kind words of a sort-of stranger to point out things that I had not been aware of. The words stress, anxiety, difficult decisions, and college will suffice for now.

I am sort of bumbling along like a little lost sheep, looking for the Shepherd.

We must strive to place ourselves completely in God's hands. Then He will cause us to feel the effects of His goodness and protection--which are at times extraordinary. -St. John Baptist de la Salle


Mary said...

Hope everything is okay. Praying for you!
Mary is definitely my "go-to girl". (No disrespect intended!) As my mom used to say: "The devil leaves her alone; he won't mess with her!"

Sr. Ann Marie said...

Hang in there, Ashley, and take a deep breath! I'll keep you in my prayers in a special way.