Wednesday, October 13, 2010

You Learn As You Go

I haven't been much of a country music listener since, oh, maybe the age of 10 or 11. I grew up with it, and I like it okay. My professed musical tastes include a little bit of everything, but I probably have less "modern" country than everything else. Actually, I know I have less country in my iTunes library. The country music that I grew up with, I still enjoy listening to. In fact, I think it was (still is?) better than what is out today.

Why am I talking about country music? Good question. I have the answer, but even now I still am puzzled that I even thought about it this morning.

While I was in the shower, a verse from an old (1992 - okay, it feels old) John Michael Montgomery song randomly popped into my head. The words and the music were very clear and distinct. Odd, I thought. I haven't heard this song in years.

Why would I suddenly remember part of a song that I don't know all of the words to?

Ding! A little timer/light bulb/whatever went off in my head. God was telling me something. And I was actually listening and paying attention to catch it.

Okay then God. What is it exactly that you're trying to tell me? Then the verse sounded clear and distinct again (in my head).

Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go

Yes. I see now. All along I have been cognizant of sometimes leading, sometimes following. Only I feel silly that I just now truly grasped the significance of the following. While I don't dance, I do understand the concept of leading and following.

There have been and will be times when I must lead. Times when the task at hand to be in charge of is something that I don't want to do, something that's unpleasant, something that's challenging, something that feels just out of reach for me to accomplish. Oh and then throw in having to make sure that others who I'm leading are following along, well, jeez, makes life more difficult at times. Or easier depending on the situation and the people.

Then there are times when I will want to lead, when I am excited about being the leader, I know I can be a good leader for this particular thing, or when the task/situation/people involved are just so awesome and worthwhile that I am thrilled at the possibilities...sometimes I don't get to be leader at all of those times. That's when I have to be a follower. In those times, being a follower is harder than it would be if I was a leader of a crappy brigade of whatever-ness.

Of course there are instances when I have to be a follower in craptastic situations and tasks. Sometimes a good leader is present, other times not so much. It's all one big cyclical yet random blob of confusion and clarity. At the base of it all is simply not always knowing what is going to happen next. I may be fortunate or not.

And to the other line, yes, I need to stop worrying about what I don't know. That statement applies to many facets of life, but it's hard sometimes to not want to know everything all of the time. It's consumes too much time and energy that could be positively spent elsewhere.

Sometimes I dislike lessons (both in school/class situations and in life itself) where the only way I can learn is by simply going. I'm human and impatient so I like getting what I need to learn right now. Boom boom done. Lesson learned! On to the next one...

But this morning was a pleasant wake up call. I think I'm going to start hating less on learning as I go and just embrace it.

Of all places to have an epiphany of this magnitude, the shower? God really does work in mysterious ways. Obviously He knows what I don't. Perhaps I was just in tune to the right frequency this morning. Of course God is going to say something if I'm listening, even if I don't realize it at first.

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