When the captain and the court officers had brought the apostles in and made them stand before the Sanhedrin, the high priest questioned them, "We gave you strict orders, did we not, to stop teaching in that name? Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and want to bring this man's blood upon us."When I thought about this reading later, I was reminded of a line from the movie A Knight's Tale. It is said in two separate instances, and the above picture is when each member of Sir William's entourage took a turn saying one part of the phrase to the newly defeated Count Adhemar. "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting."
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men. The God of our ancestors raised Jesus, though you had him killed by hanging him on a tree. God exalted him at his right hand as leader and savior to grant Israel repentance and forgiveness of sins. We are witnesses of these things, as is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey him."
The Sanhedrin ordered the apostles to stop speaking in the name of Jesus, and dismissed them. So they left the presence of the Sanhedrin, rejoicing that they had been found worthy to suffer dishonor for the sake of the name.
Indeed, I have been weighed and measured, and I have been found wanting of something more. Something that is bigger than myself. Something that I will never fully understand.
That something is a relationship with God. As beautiful as faith is, as wonderful and strengthening as it is, faith does come at a price. My belief in God and His hand in my life may alienate me from some people that I may want to be close to, people who don't see things the way I do and who chose to not respect me for who I am. Being a member of the Catholic Church has certainly caused some people to do a double-take, all the while I know they're thinking...oh, you're a Catholic? *Insert some sly comment about priests and/or Jesus crackers.*
Yes, I am a Catholic. Yes, I am proud to be one. More importantly, I am proud to be a Christian. I also realize what I lose by being one. But I think that what I gain is infinitely more sustaining, more fulfilling, than what I lose.
So when I suffer because of who I am and what I believe in and what I profess, I take comfort in knowing that the apostles went through the same thing. In fact, they found the silver lining that I didn't know existed. I am thankful that they did.
They rejoiced in being found worthy for suffering for the name's sake. Being picked on, spat on, kicked, name-called, ignored...what have you. And they rejoiced! They knew that what they were going through was not the end.
Lord have mercy on me. I do rejoice for being found worthy to be your servant, your child. I am happy knowing that my suffering for Jesus' sake is a worthy cause. A noble fight.
We have all been weighed, we have all been measured. We all have been found wanting, but for what is up to each individual.